Stuck on Lou

Behind The Crystal Curtain

Watching last night’s Academy Awards show was almost as uncomfortable as realizing your first lover was an illiterate Nazi.

The central joke of the opening number was basically, “The economy is so bad that the Academy had to cancel the big opening number, and instead Hugh Jackman built all the sets for the opening himself.  See how adorably handmade and cheap they look!”  Meanwhile, the stage featured a special 34-foot Swarovski crystal curtain, valued at $1 million.

Awkward!  While the rest of us are mentally preparing to live in shanty towns and cart our money around in wheelbarrows, obscenly wealthy people are laughing at the ridiculous notion of times being so tough that the Oscars would downgrade from an extravagant crystal curtain to cardboard props made by Wolverine.

The joke just seems so out of touch with reality.  Once I overcome my own financial hardship by implausibly winning  “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (and reuniting with my childhood love interest in the process), I promise not to inadvertently rub my magnificent wealth in everyone else’s faces like this.