Stuck on Lou

An Unimpressive 24 Hours

The following was my schedule for 12:00pm on March 2, 2009 through 12:00pm on March 3, 2009:

12:00pm: Realize “The Bachelor” season finale is on tonight, make vow NOT to watch

12:00pm-2:00pm: Do nothing

2:00pm-5:00pm: Take nap

5:00pm-7:30pm: Try to read, get sidetracked hypothesizing about possible outcomes for “The Bachelor”

7:30pm: Get tired of waiting, turn on TV

7:30pm-8:00pm: Watch “Judge Judy,” enjoy pleasant feelings of indignation and superiority

8:00pm-10:00pm: Watch entire “The Bachelor” season finale

10:00pm-11:00pm: Watch “The Bachelor: After the Final Rose” post-season show, gasp at shocking twist

11:00pm: Feel worn out from emotional highs and lows of Bachelor, go to bed

11:00pm-8:00am: Have dreams about Bachelor, dreams about alternate endings to the season, dreams where I host a Bachelor season finale theme party, dreams where I find the Bachelor’s discarded diamond engagement ring on the floor and start wearing it around as a souvenir

8:00am-8:30am: Get intermittenly woken up by cat, blur distinction between cat and Bachelor in dream

8:30am: Get up

8:30-9:00am: Have mixed feelings toward cat, see him as loving single dad on the one hand and narcissistic jerk on the other

9:00am-12:00pm: Research Bachelor on Internet, buy into several conspiracy theories about the show

12:00pm: Emerge squinting from apartment