Stuck on Lou

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Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:55:00 -0800

Photo

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:38:00 -0800

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Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:24:00 -0800

“We’re the 49ers” (1984) More of this kind of...

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 05:31:00 -0800

“We’re the 49ers” (1984)

More of this kind of thing could really inspire me to try harder to love football.

I am football illiterate. And like the illiterate people depicted in very special episodes of 80s sitcoms, I often fake comprehension so no one will suspect. When I watch football, I cheer or shake my head in disgust along with everyone else. But if you watch me closely, you’ll notice that I’m always a few beats behind the crowd. That’s because football games are just blurs of meaningless images to me.

Still, I am genuinely disappointed that the 49ers lost their playoff game yesterday. Though I may never be able to love football, I will forever love festivities, mayhem, and San Francisco. I wish we could dance together in the streets to this song, San Francisco. Maybe next year.

She wears black and carries a shoulder bag, while he wears...

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 14:27:00 -0800

She wears black and carries a shoulder bag, while he wears exuberant plaids and prefers a rolly suitcase. She came for the art, he for the science. The quintessential dentist odd couple. But it works somehow.

alejandroimages: Dia de los Muertos 2011 For Dia De Los...

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:12:00 -0800

alejandroimages:

Dia de los Muertos 2011

For Dia De Los Muertos this year, my friend Alex built a life-size shadow box in the Mission and took some pictures. The photos are awesome, and he’s posting six new ones every day at alejandroimages.tumblr.com. Take a look!

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Thu, 08 Sep 2011 11:54:00 -0700

I mean, I feel like we’re both basically saying the same...

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 09:35:00 -0700

I mean, I feel like we’re both basically saying the same thing here.

This makes me feel better about humanity.

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 23:29:00 -0700

This makes me feel better about humanity.

Do not defy him.

Sat, 07 May 2011 17:17:05 -0700

Do not defy him.

“Osama Bin Laden” - a catchy little song written and...

Mon, 02 May 2011 00:09:00 -0700

“Osama Bin Laden” - a catchy little song written and recorded by my brother Russell and his friend Dave in 1999.

I went to a baby shower today and came really close to winning...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 16:16:00 -0700

I went to a baby shower today and came really close to winning this bingo game.

You better let somebody count you before it’s too late.

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 23:10:26 -0700

You better let somebody count you before it’s too late.

The most endanagered species of them all.

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:07:00 -0700

The most endanagered species of them all.

For Garrick, who pointed out to me recently how mysterious that...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 22:38:00 -0700

For Garrick, who pointed out to me recently how mysterious that “doctor” in Nothing Compares 2 U is.

"April is the cruelest month"

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:53:00 -0700

“April is the cruelest month”

- April Fools prank victim T.S. Eliot, The Wasteland

My family, circa 1982. If “Stuck on Lou” had been an...

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 18:07:43 -0800

My family, circa 1982.

If “Stuck on Lou” had been an 80’s sitcom instead of a delightful blog, it would have been about an adorable midget child named Louise who comes to live with a British couple and their non-midget baby.

Verbatim Phone Conversation Overheard at Atlas Cafe

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 18:04:00 -0800

You’re coming apart at the seams, man. You gotta friend me on Facebook again. Yeah, let’s be friends again, because you got a lotta work ahead of you. You gotta put all those photos online, man. I’m gonna have lunch with your mom this week. Maybe you could stop by. Yeah, in the rain. Ain’t that aboutta bitch? And there’s a great Balkan party this weekend, so clear your schedule for that. The girls are crazy over there. What? Balkan. No, Balkan! Bal-kan! It’s a region of Europe. It’s where the gypsies are from. I always have a blast. Anyway, friend me on Facebook again. I need to tag you in these photos. Alright. Later.

Stuck on Lou Offends Meteorologist (link)

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 15:40:00 -0800

Stuck on Lou Offends Meteorologist (link)

On Farting Audibly in Public

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 09:26:00 -0800

A few years ago, I made an interesting discovery:

I can fart audibly almost anywhere, and as long as it isn’t a comically loud stunt fart, no one notices. I’ve tested this out in various contexts; I’ve never seen anyone miss a beat.

I think this is because everyone assumes that a respectable lady in her 30’s such as myself doesn’t flagrantly fart in public. Their brains automatically filter out the information as incompatible with reality.

If only this had been true when I was a kid.

In 4th grade, I started at a new school where I witnessed a boy in my class fart audibly. His friend turned to him and asked, “Did you just fart?” He shrugged and said, “Yeah.” That was it. There was no further discussion.

I was FLOORED. I had made such an effort to avoid farting around other kids until that point in my life, for fear of public humiliation. Yet here was evidence that it was totally ok at this school!

A few days later, liberated by this new information, I deliberately farted audibly in class. The girl next to me asked, “Did you just fart?” I was cool and confident when I replied, “Yeah.”

But it was not cool. Uproar ensued immediately. The incident was the talk of the entire 4th grade for the rest of the day. I don’t remember hearing anything about it after that, but the year did not turn out to be a socially successful one for me. In fact, I don’t think I fully recovered from that one audible fart until maybe 8th grade.